How to plan your own wedding
Planning your own wedding is a big deal! For most, it will be a once in a life time event. The most expensive event you will ever host! More to the point it will be the most important event you will ever host. So, it goes without saying that you will want to make it as personal and perfect as it can be.
Lizzie & Will’s wedding at Butley Priory, in Suffolk, was no different! They wanted everything to be perfect.
Planning your own wedding is a big deal! For most, it will be a once in a life time event. The most expensive event you will ever host! More to the point it will be the most important event you will ever host. So, it goes without saying that you will want to make it as personal and perfect as it can be.
Lizzie & Will’s wedding at Butley Priory, in Suffolk, was no different! They wanted everything to be perfect.
Getting to know Lizzie & Will during their wedding cake journey
From Lizzie & Will’s first email enquiring about their wedding cake at Butley Priory, Suffolk, they were so lovely to work with. They already had a strong vision for their cake design and as soon as they shared their wedding moodboard, I could see they had an eye for detail and this was going to be the most gorgeous wedding and wedding cake! I couldn’t wait!
The wedding cake
Right from the start Lizzie & Will had shared with me an inspiratonal image of a 2 tier design which we then worked with, making the final design unique and personal to them. The result being a stunning 2 toned, 3 tier design, in neurtral shades.
Each tier had it’s own 3 layers of indivdual wraps of fondant. The design sat on a clear cake drum, to avoid contamination against it’s beautifully crafted concrete tray, yet not to take anything away from it’s beauty.
4 Sandstorm roses sat at the right hand base of the cake.
Simplicity at its finest.
The Wedding
Lizzie and Will got married at the stunning Butley Priory, Suffolk, on a beautiful mild October day.
When I arrived on the day, to set up their wedding cake, I was not disappointed. Everything looked perfect.
Through our chats, I knew Lizzie & Will had been deeply involved in all aspects of their Suffolk wedding, making it as personal as they could – right down to growing their own flowers and making their own personalised napkins for all their guests.
They were so organised and laid back throughout their whole wedding planning journey, I just knew I had to find out more. I was so pleased when Lizzie agreed to let me into her world of wedding planning and answer all my burning questions!
What made you choose Butley Priory, in Suffolk, for your wedding venue?
I found Butley Priory in Suffolk a few years back. A photographer I followed on Instagram posted a photo of Butley Priory and I thought it was just the most beautiful place and just knew that was it.
It was the only venue we looked at and we knew instantly it was for us . They were able to give us the intimate wedding we pictured in our heads.
What sold it was Libby (from Butley Proiry) taking us round to see the venue and explained how the day would normally work – she said “ when you arrive the day before, we need an hour or so of your time just to go over everything and confirm the plan. After that, Butley Proiry becomes your home for the weekend, you can even come down in your dressing gown and make a cup of tea.” That’s it, we were sold!
I absolutely loved your wedding dress. Was it a bespoke design?
That’s so kind, thank you. My dress was actually a two piece, a top and a skirt. It was from Halfpenny London. I saw it before we went to any bridal shops and I knew I had to try it on. We went to four boutiques but this was easily the one, hands down. I never thought I would have feathers on my wedding dress!
Will looked very daper in his tweed wedding suit. What inspired his choice?
Will’s suit came from the bespoke tailor Roomten. We knew we wanted tweed but a modern tweed, not farmer tweed! My dad also got his suit from there.
And the bridesmaids’ dresses?
The bridesmaid dresses, I knew I wanted velvet and for them all to be in different colours and styles.
One dress style never suits every bridesmaid so any style, any colour but all velvet.
I found the designer Jenny Yoo and the stockist of her dresses is in the London boutique NABBD (Not Another Boring Bridesmaid Dress).
We went along and I said they could choose any style they felt best in and I selected the 4 colours – each of them to choose a colour they wanted to wear so everyone was happy (well as far as I know!)
And the mother of the bride’s dress?
My mum wore a dress made by me. She had had the picture of a style she liked for a few years, we went for a day out together to find the perfect fabric and I think it suited her perfectly.
What inspired you on your choice of colours and theme for your wedding?
Will and I have been together for 10 years and always knew marriage was going to be part of our story, so with various conversations over the years our theme and colours developed a lot over time. We wanted the colours to represent us and our home, it needed to feel warm and inviting to us and our loved ones.
Did you purhcase/hire all your wedding styling items? (glasses, runners, plates and cutlery)
The table runners I made when I made the napkins. I knew exactly what fabric I was looking for and found rolls of fabric on eBay so snapped it up! I used the same fabric for our invitations etc so it all tied nicely together.
The plates, cutlery and glasses all came with our chef and his team. We saw the colourful water glasses when we went for our food tasting and asked if we could have these instead of clear plain glass, as felt they added to the overall style of the day. Again a complete mismatch and no real pattern.
And the lovely personalised napkins for each of your wedding guests. I’m assuming you made them yourself?
Yes, I made the napkins with everyone’s names on. These were in place of name cards and to act as keepsakes for people. I have to say it was lovely to collect everything together the day after the wedding and know everyone had taken them home, they were no unloved napkins!
I loved the little trinket ornaments on the wedding breakfast tables – I take it there was a connection with these?
All of the vases and candlesticks were collected over time. Some from car boot sales, some from local charity shops or from charity shops from our holidays together. Others things that belonged to family members that we have around our own home that we wanted to add in on the day.
I would love to hear more about your wedding flowers. What inspired you to grow your own?
Will and I are massive home birds. We love being at home or on our allotment plots. I have been growing cut flowers, mainly dahlias, for 3 years and it just felt like the right thing to do for the wedding. We wanted everything on our wedding day to be as personal as possible.
Which wedding flowers you managed to grow?
All the dahlias at the wedding were grown by me and some in my parents’ garden. All the foliage you saw was also from my parents’ beautiful garden. The only flowers our florist bought were the waxflowers and the roses.
What problems did you came across in growing your own wedding flowers?
To be really honest, I didn’t get too concerned about it. I did the same thing I have done the years before in growing that I know worked for me but kept in the back of my mind that absolute worst comes to worst if it didn’t work and they didn’t bloom as well as they have in the past we could always buy flowers if we had to.
I of course always hoped this wouldn’t be the case but I very much have the mindset in general of hope for the best but prepare for the worst. There were a couple of the dahlias that didn’t grow well but nothing was symmetrical or matching about our wedding so it didn’t worry me too much.
Do you have advice for someone wishing to grow their own wedding flowers?
Make sure you try growing the year before your wedding so you have practiced and know a bit more about the process. Don’t grow for the first time the year of your wedding.
Grow them yourself but hire a florist to do the arranging – I love to play around with flowers at home but it is additional stress before your big day that you don’t need – you can’t arrange and display them in advance. I got married on a Saturday, I went to the allotment on the Wednesday and picked all the dahlias, gave them to the florist to soak and arrange and after picking them, my part was done.
Find a florist you trust. Keep them updated about how it’s going . Have lots of conversations about what you are hoping for. Come up with a plan for if things don’t go to plan, including a cut off date, if they don’t bloom enough etc. Goes back to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
What was the inspiration behind your wedding flower styling?
Wild and natural looking but organised. Imperfectly perfect.
Did everything go to plan on the day?
It went so smoothly and for someone who is a bit of a control freak and uber organised, I thought I would be more aware of the change round of the rooms between ceremony and meal etc but it was honestly like magic.
I cannot thank all of our suppliers, and especially the team at Butley Priory, for making it so easy.
What was your favourite part of your speical day?
Of course marrying Will and officially becoming his wife but other than that I have two moments.
The first one was when everyone was finishing dinner, chatting and laughing. Will and I sat back, the light was starting to go down outside and all the candles were lit in the room creating this really soft and warm light and we could just see all the people that mean so much to us enjoying themselves.
The second was later in the evening, when it was dark outside. I went outside to get a hot dog – our evening food was The Hot Sausage Company, and I looked into the priory through one of their beautifully old windows and everyone was dancing and laughing and having fun. It was like one of those scenes in a movie when it all just slows down for a moment and you really feel the true happiness you can see in front of you.
Those are the two moments that stand out for me the most.
Looking back is there anything you would have changed about your wedding?
Absolutely nothing, I honestly can’t think of one thing.
What advice would you give someone just embarking on their own wedding planning journey?
Be organised. I know everyone says it but it honestly makes the world of difference for your own stress levels but also for all your suppliers. The more organised you are, and the sooner you book suppliers in, the less stressful the planning will be.
If your venue or planner is helping layout your day (table settings etc) have everything ready in advance if possible.
We had lots of different vases per table – we put them all in individual crates per table before the day, labelled 1, 2, 3, 4 etc. I knew what vases and holders I wanted on each table so decisions were made in advance.
Do the same with name cards – put them in order of your table plan so putting them out is easy and quick.
Make a mock up of a place setting and how you want it to look – print out a photo to give to the person responsible on the day. For example, I knew I wanted our napkins on top of the menu but showing the word menu so people could see it. (as I say – slight control freak!)
Be realistic and stick to your budget. It is so easy to get carried away but work out what is most important to you and focus on those things. Work out what you can do yourself to keep costs down but be realistic about what you can actually fit in without adding too much stress to yourself.
Most Importantly…
Enjoy the process! It will fly by and planning and booking your wedding it part of the journey and part of what makes the day so special. You get to see the finished result, of what was in your head, come to reality.
Most importantly follow your heart and what you and your partner want to see and feel on the day. If you want pink flowers and green dresses with a bagpipe playing an Ed Sheeran song as you walk down the aisle – do it! No one will remember your wedding day the way you will remember it and you want it to be the best memory you have – no regrets.
Thank you
Thank you so much Lizzie for sharing your journey with us!
Frequently asked questions (Faqs)
Can you share tips for choosing a wedding venue like Butley Priory in Suffolk?
Finding a venue that resonates with you is key. Consider factors like size, ambiance, and whether it offers accommodation for guests.
How did you manage to grow your own wedding flowers? Any advice for beginners?
Start early and practice growing flowers well in advance of your wedding. Consider consulting a florist for arranging them to reduce stress closer to the day.
What inspired your unique wedding cake design, and how did you collaborate with Sue Hurst Cake Design?
We were inspired by a blend of modern aesthetics and personal style. Working with Sue was seamless; she helped refine our vision into a stunning, personalised cake.
Did you encounter any challenges in DIY aspects like making personalised napkins and table runners?
Planning and preparing DIY elements ahead of time were crucial. It ensured everything matched our theme and added a personal touch without last-minute stress.
Looking back, what advice would you give for maintaining calm and enjoying the wedding day itself?
Stay organised, trust your suppliers, and focus on what truly matters—celebrating your love. Delegate tasks to trusted individuals to alleviate pressure on the day.
Ready for more wedding inspiration?
Venue: Butley Priory, Suffolk
Lizzie’s interior textures company charlotterandallinteriors.co.uk
All images: AXL Photography
Lizzie’s wedding dress: Halfpenny London
Will’s suit: Roomten
Florist: Amanda Steward
Bridesmaid Dresses: Jenny Yoo
Who is Sue Hurst – Wedding Cake Designer in Essex
Hey, I am Sue! I am a wedding cake maker in Essex, specialising in modern and bespoke wedding cakes in Essex, London, Suffolk, Kent, Surrey and beyond. After 12 years of cake making, my business has changed over the years, until I found my biggest passion – weddings.
I absolutely adore everything about designing and making wedding cakes. From getting to know my couples, right through to setting up their dream cake (quite often a design they would never have dreamt of before their journey with me).
Having the honour of being a part of such a special day in my couples’ lives, is something I never undervalue.
My blog posts about weddings cakes in the South and South East England are based on experience and aim to help you plan your dream wedding.
